Attachment Theory
Attachment theory, developed in the mid-1900’s by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, posits that attachment styles are formed through childhood relationships with primary caregivers, which set a precedent for how relationships are handled as adults (affecting friendships, romantic relationships and even work relationships).
The Four Main Attachment Styles
Since it was initially introduced, attachment theory has gained a lot of traction, leading to extensive research over the years. Today, four main attachment styles are widely recognized:
- Secure Attachment: Considered the healthiest style, this develops in childhood through a warm, nurturing environment where caregivers are consistently responsive to emotional needs. This reinforces the idea that people, in general, are trustworthy, enabling adults to have healthier relationship attachments when viewing others through this lens.
- Anxious Attachment: In childhood, this style develops through inconsistent caregiver behavior (sometimes responsive and supportive and other times mis-attuned). As an adult, this style can manifest through low self-esteem, strong fear of abandonment/rejection and/or tendency to be “clingy” or overly needy in relationships.
- Avoidant Attachment: In childhood, this style is developed when caregivers avoid displays of emotion and/or demonstrate an intolerance, ambivalence or dismissiveness of the child’s emotions. Adults with this attachment style tend to be independent and easy-going with high self-esteem. However, adult relationships are more “surface level,” as a person with this style would avoid getting too close toothers.
- Disorganized Attachment: Often (but not always) caused by some type of childhood abuse or neglect, this style develops when the caregiver becomes a source of fear. As an adult, this style can show up through unstable or ambiguous social bonds (due to a strong desire for closeness or intimacy, but a competing fear of trusting or depending on others). Also, an adult with this style likely experiences difficulty with emotional regulation.
How Adults Can Develop a Healthier Style
If you think you’d fall into one of the “insecure” attachment styles (anxious, avoidant or disorganized) detailed above, you CAN work toward developing a healthier (secure) attachment style. Therapy can be extremely beneficial in providing a better understanding of your attachment style and support/guidance in cultivating a more secure attachment style. Therapy can help you
- process and heal childhood trauma and any residual shame.
- develop more adaptive thinking skills and challenge unhelpful core beliefs.
- learn to be assertive.
- learn to practice self-compassion.
- hone emotional regulation skills.
- improve your ability to resolve conflict.
Also, keep in mind that attachment theory (like any theory) is not 100 percent accurate 100 percent of the time. Attachment styles can exist on a spectrum and might not fit “neatly” into one category. However, attachment theory can provide some potentially valuable insight into why we behave the way we do in adult relationships!
If you’re in need of behavioral health treatment from a qualified, compassionate clinician, Travco can help! Contact Travco Behavioral Health today at 330.286.0050.
